He forgot one: “These headphones aren’t on.” “U have a bedazzler?” Turbo Jennie texted me the other day. You know you’re addicted to the shiny stuff when you are the go-to girl for kitchy 90’s era sparklifying gadgets. Regrettably, due to my abhorrence of clutter, I had to text her back in the negative. But …
Well, this might do the trick. But then I might have more problems than I started out with… (photo credit) Turbo Jennie calls it her splash zone. Not because she has any resemblance to Shamu – quite the opposite – but because anyone within a certain radius of her gets sprinkled with her sweat as …
You’ve seen the workout program ads: in between shots of glistening, contracting abdominals and hyper smiling people who only sweat in socially acceptable places – your amped up cleavage if you are a woman, your shaved pecs if you are a man – comes the promise. What, you ask, can a DVD workout/exercise book/smiling B-list …
As if being in a gym setting isn’t opportunity enough for physical awkwardness – I have, actually, walked into the men’s locker room by accident twice – but add being pregnant on top of everything and it can make life very… touchy. Fortunately I’m not overly sensitive to touch. You’d think with my history of …
Read more “The Art of the Awkward Hug: Tips and Tricks For Hugging People in The Gym”
Nothing says yummy like Tom Selleck’s chest hair! Coffee cake is one of life’s nicest niceties. Not only does it have crunchy brown sugar streusel layered with moist cake and topped with icing but it also evokes images of tea parties and twee hats and gloves and dresses with nipped-in waists and Peter-Pan collars. Fun. …
A woman in step class was wearing a black lace bra. Not underneath anything, as bras are generally meant to be worn. Not even on top of something, Madonna-style (is it just me or is she coming up an awful lot on here lately??) which quite truthfully would have been preferable. Nope, it was black …
Faster than a competitive treadmill runner, bolder than a know-it-all personal trainer, kinder than a back-stabbing Mean Girl: Who are these people who are so wonderful that they sweat rainbow Gatorade and spit sunshine loogies? Why, it’s the Gym Buddies! For those of you reading this via e-mail or a reader, click through to see …
Pee. Sweat. All kinds of gaseous emissions. We’ve covered a lot of embarrassing stuff on here the past week. We giggled, we shared our worst moments and I unwittingly earned the privilege of having everyone in Turbokick ask me if I’ve had any soy that day before they’ll stand next to me – every single …
Read more “Bodily Functions & Fitness 101: Blood, Tears, Vomit, Saliva & Poop”
I did yoga this morning. Per usual, it was a sweaty-yet-relaxing good time and I enjoyed myself immensely (fave part: the stares when I did my headstand inversion, pregnant belly and all). But there was one part at the end that got a little awkward. It’s called Happy Baby Pose:It ought to be called Embarrassing …
Read more “Bodily Functions & Fitness 101: Gaseous Emissions”
“Just saw the CrossFit WOD (workout of the day). I’m not even at the gym yet and I already have the nervous pee.” When I read this Facebook status update from Reader Amber, I laughed so hard I had to, well, you know. So class, for part two of my Bodily Functions & Fitness series …
