I can still vividly remember her face — her dark hair curling around her face, her hands gesturing widely as she told me a very dramatic story. I nodded and grinned. Then I remember her big eyes filling with tears. Wait, what? I wiped the idiot smile off my face and wracked my brain for …
If you haven’t seen this “Thanks, Mom” video yet – it’s HILARIOUS. “Thanks mom for making me afraid of germs. I’m basically the Howard Hughes of kindergarten.” – is my personal fave “Thanks mom for using me as an excuse to get out of social obligations!” is a very close second. Today when I called my …
Read more “Thanks Mom… For Telling Me Gum-Chewing is Illegal [Happy You Have a Uterus Day!]”
Growing up, “food fight” didn’t necessarily mean gleeful spaghetti slinging or flour flinging, like in the movies. (Although there was the time my sister rolled in a plate of Jell-O. She was one. Of course we still tease her about it.) Sometimes a food fight just meant that we were arguing because we were hungry …
Handstand toe archery! Best fitness talent ever. And hey, my gym only says no GUNS allowed on the premises. I’m sure they’d be totally cool with this. Everybody’s got a talent, right? I’m pretty sure that’s what we were all told the day they handed out our special snowflake awards, so we could put them on our …
Read more “Eight Weird Fitness Talents I Wish I Had [What’s your secret fitness weapon?]”
Yep. This would save me a lot of time in the mornings. I had an embarrassing moment in the furniture store. This, surprisingly, was a new venue for me. While I’ve humiliated myself in every conceivable way in the gym (mooning, flashing, peeing, vomiting through my nose – you name it, I’ve done it) and …
Read more “Suckered by a Skinny Mirror [My Most Embarrassing Furniture Store Moment]”
“Chocolatey covered molar adhesive” TRUTH in candy advertising. Also: “Banana” flavored anything is vile. You hear me, Laffy Taffy?? Turkey, provolone and tomato on whole wheat “flat bread” (because… flat is so much healthier than poofy?) with mustard and mayo: Today I made a sandwich in the shower. Nah, I didn’t have a weird craving …
When I thought this was makeup I thought it was crazy cool but when I found out it was a tattoo all I could think about is how painful and dangerous getting your eyeLIDS tattooed would me. I mean, one wrong slip with the needle and you’re blinded! Or you just got free Lasik! This …
GROSS. So many questions: Why is this pig so happy to be slicing and dicing himself? Why is he made of sausage? How can he hold a knife with no opposable thumbs? And WHAT are the purple bits?! I’m so disturbed. My hobbies: Fitness, baking failures and flushing toilets (at least you’d assume so …
Read more “The 20 Best (Worst) Vintage Diet Ads [Part 2 – Because I just love these things SO much]”
